An Election Day, Dallas Cowboy's Analogy

By this time of the week I would think that all the talk of politics and the election of our new POTUS would be some what dying down.  Not the case!  I just got out of the hospital where I had a 5 day stay to heal my body and it felt more like a stay at a bomb shelter.  Every so often I'd peek at the outside world to see how the legal and non-legal citizens of America were doing.  At the same time, the NFL kept business as usual which made me happy.  I enjoyed thursday night's game and thats when it hit me.  The Dallas Cowboy's situation and The United States are in a similar situation that could learn from each other.  Hear me out.  So you have this seasoned veteran that we can just name Hilary Romo.  He's been the stud at the campus for years now and just can't seem to make it to the top of the hill.  He has great support but when it comes time to shine, he just flat out chokes.  Then in the other corner you have this new kid on the block that we will just call Donald Prescott.  This guy has hopes and dreams and knows he can get it done but hasn't even been given a shot.  Well, the time comes and guess what? Romo stumbles and falls, breaks his progress and now Prescott gets the start.  Every Cowboys fan has an opinion and it divides Cowboy's nation.  There is crying, riots, people pointing fingers at Jerry the electoral college Jones, the boys are broken!  Skip ahead a bit and guess what?  Prescott leads the cowboys to victory upon victory and gives his team something they haven't had in a very long time, HOPE.  Now the cowboys nation is torn but swaying to the new kid.  Why?  These are the same people that fought for Romo to lead this team to greatness.  All it took was the right voices and opportunities to show that this team doesn't have to follow the mediocrity path anymore.  New blood, new vision, new life.  I for one voted for Paxton Johnson to lead but that didn't happen cause the Broncos picked him up first.  Life went on, I accepted our new leader and couldn't be happier.  Point of all this besides how much I love The Dallas Cowboys is that we all need to stop acting like a bunch of Kaepernick's and stand up and support or great nation or get the hell out.  Until next time, I love you all, you're beautiful.

Chicken, Pot, and Pie-The American Dream

One of the biggest issues out there in the United States is whether or not marijuana should be legalized or not. There are generally two uses for this plant. One is for medical use. Research has shown that there are qualities that can help people with illnesses and are much safer on the body than most pharmaceutical treatments. It has helped cancer patients and people with chronic illnesses. Since I live with a nasty chronic illness my plea to the government is puff puff give, mothafucka! Why would you deprive your people of an all natural substitute that is proven to heal? I'll tell you why, they stand to lose so much money that the big pharm companies dish out. Plain and simple. The other use for this miracle plant is probably why most people turn their nose up in the air to it, recreational use. Getting high is something a lot of people enjoy doing for fun. It's not for everybody and for some it's a way of life. To me, I don't think it's a bad thing. Once again, it's all natural, you can't overdose on it, and I never hear of anyone getting violent or abusive because of it. Alcohol is legal and there isn't a day that goes by where you don't see a fatality or scene of violence because of alcohol. I guess alcohol is legal cause the government can regulate it and tax it. Most people I've asked about this issue are pro-weed. Half are only pro-medical weed. I think in time, the people's voice will be heard and it will get legalized. I look forward to the Cheech and Chong movie marathons and hooka around a fire instead of going to funerals or to jails to visit people who die or get in trouble from drinking. Let the people pick their poison. I'm out, gonna go put some money on Jack in the Box stock. When marijuana gets legalized, them tacos surely add up! Peace and chicken grease.

Drawing Lines-All Lives Matter

I find it funny that those people who try to draw a line in the sand to make you decided who's lives matter most are the ones who actually make divisions with these lines.  The second you make a stand that your race, religion, or whatever else is equally important is the moment you segregate yourself from the rest of society.  I for one do not have to justify to anyone where my loyalties lie based on the types of friends I have.  Anyone that knows me can tell you that I love based on character and not on lifestyles and appearances or beliefs.  The race card needs to be put away for good.  Al Sharpton needs to pay his taxes, stay his fat ass at home, have a coke, and a smile, and shut the fuck up.  Heres why.  Have you ever turned on BET which is exclusively for african americans and seen a performer do stand up?  How many times do white people become part of the act?  "white people be" is the cornerstone of a lot of black comedy.  When the popular culture is blacks calling blacks the "N" word it opens the doors for narrow minded people to feel free to classify them as that word.  It's not right but the example is never set.  As far as our men in blue go.  They are here for a reason, and that is to protect us.  That should not be forgotten.  Social media and media in general has sensationalized them for all the wrong reasons.  People make mistakes.  Doctors,  Soldiers,  Priests,  everyone.  That doesn't mean that we turn our backs on them all when there are a few bad apples in the group.  I will re-state what I've thought all along.  ALL LIVES MATTER!!! If you don't believe this, you are part of the reason our country is so divided.  There will always be ignorant people among us and we will never agree on everything but tolerance and love for humanity can take us a long way.  These traits are taught and not inherited through genes, it can be fixed.  I'm all over the place but for now I leave my soapbox with what I always leave you with. I love you ALL, you're beautiful.

Mis-Match.com? The Mystery of Online Dating

Everywhere you look there is a new dating website popping up for those who are in search of a life-mate or for people who just want a little company.  A little company is code word for one night stands by the way.  It seems like the online dating market is flooded with sites for any tastes that the public might have.  There is Match.com, Christian mingle, Farmers only, Pork your sister etc...  I for one never went this route to find anybody but lately I've seen a lot of success from my friends who use this method to date.  Some may argue that the intimacy level may not be there but the lack of pressure to hump makes it easier to get to know the person without any type of interference or sexual obligation.  I guess with new technology it's easy to see if you have chemistry through text and email.  For me, it solidifies that people are more likely to bond if they are physically attracted to the person.  How many horror stories have you heard of online daters who were disappointed by the way the date actually looked as opposed to the profile picture?  In that case I would just post a picture of a platinum credit card.  Of course I'd have a lot of explaining to do when I'm doing dishes at the restaurant after our meal.  I'm thinking that the reason it works is because it takes a lot of the guesswork out of the preliminary would be first actual dates.  Wheres the fun in that?  The best part of dating is letting the other person find out just how fucked up you are on their own!  When it comes to this method of soul searching some say its the easy way out, others say it's the smart way.  I say, to each his own.  Some hunt with a rifle, others with a bow, I prefer stalking-Elmer Fudd style.  I don't care or judge how you meet them, as long as you end up happy.  Well, until next time.  I'm off to start my own online dating website...BrokeAssMexican.com

Go Fund Me, Then Go F@#k Yourself

Charity is a staple of life.  There will always be an unbalance of wealth in our society as there always has been.  These days with technology the field has turned in a weird way for charitable causes to get exposure.  Long gone are the days of the Jerry Lewis telethon.  These days instead of rolling out a BBQ pit and selling plates for a benefit, you can just go online, set up an account such as Go Fund Me, and watch the loot roll in.  My only question is...what justifies a legit campaign?  I mean, I see people who are in desperate need.  A loved one suddenly passes away, medical bills become overwhelming, and so forth.  I get it, i really do.  I had tens of thousands of dollars of medical bills last year and it really took a toll on our finances.  I'm just not on board with the people looking for handouts so that there is no disruption in the lifestyle they live.  Musicians have become the worst.  The same assholes who were on MTV cribs a few years ago are pleading with their fans to fund new projects and albums.  Kiss my ass on that one.  I just got an email from one of my favorite bands asking to pledge money on their new project only months after the lead singer is bragging about the Aston Martins and Ferrari's he drives to his mansion.  Horse shit.  Another thing, if you don't have the common courtesy to say hi at least once a year or ask how I'm doing, please don't insult me and ask for money.  Internet panhandling has become a real epidemic.  No, I don't want to donate so your kid can go on vacation out of state.  My ass can hardly afford gas and groceries.  I don't mean to sound bitter but it pisses me off that the real people in need are getting overshadowed by the people who are taking advantage of the system that is designed to help THOSE IN NEED.  Lets take a step back, and re-prioritize what is important in life.  When there is a will, there is a way.  When you are far from desperation, you can make things happen on your own.  Peace, as always.

Striking Out On Oil

These days the oil industry is suffering in America.  To the joy of consumers, gasoline prices have fallen.  To the oilfield workers, this spells disaster.  I've been reading a lot in social and other media that the oil workers' lives are falling apart because of the mass layoffs and lack of work.  My take on this...tough shit.  EVERYBODY takes risks in what they do for a living so if you want sympathy from me, you won't get it.  Where was the sympathy for the mass public when for years oil execs all the way down to field workers were banking on HUGE profits that came out of our pockets?  We struggled daily to get by because of the necessity for this commodity.  I remember being gifted a tattoo for christmas last year and while sitting at the shop waiting for my appointment there was a young oilfield worker bragging to me that he made so much money in the field, he couldn't spend it fast enough.  He was paying for his third large tattoo that week with his per diem check that he didn't need for necessity.  My tattoo was a huge splurge as far as cost.  I thought, wow...I'm in the wrong business.  The thing I take from this is-when the economy suffers, it effects everyone.  You have to manage your money as if the flow won't be there tomorrow.  Those in the salon or hair or nail business know that when things get tough financially for people, their services usually get cut first.  Risk and reward is the name of the game.  Food servers that bust their ass like everyone else know that when the budget tightens for people, eating out becomes less of a priority.  Name any field out there and there are risks in the career you choose.  I respect anyone who makes a living by working for it whether it's the kat laying down pipe in the oil field or the janitor that takes the trash out at the office.  This is a wake up call to all.  So when oil skyrockets and oil prices become outlandish again and the oil workers get un-laid the hell off, maybe then they will remember that maybe it's time to put a little money away for a rainy or especially a dry day.  Until next time, Peace to all.

Celebrity Crushes-Good or Bad for Relationships?

Crushes are normal.  Unless it's for another species, they are healthy ways to admire beauty and awe or respect for people who may or not be attainable to you.  Relationships on the other hand are bonds that are meant not to be broken.  So, what happens when you have a crush on an unattainable person while in a relationship?  For most, it's harmless.  For others, it's forbidden.  I think the difference in the two revolves around a few things.  One, TRUST.  If your significant other can't trust you, good luck talking to them about anything else you have an attraction to.  Second, SELF-ESTEEM.  If your spouse lacks self-esteem on any level there is no way that they are gonna be ok with the comparisons drawn to anything else.  Third, RESPECT.  Some spouses feel disrespected when it comes to their partners looking anywhere else for gratification.  I think I have it easy.  I have all three when it comes to my relationship.  I trust my wife, am very confident in myself, and don't feel disrespected on any level by her.  Our communication is pretty bad ass to handle anything like that. She has a crush on Adrien Brody.  It's not hard to compete with a guy who looks like Gonzo and Kermit from the muppets had a baby and starved it.  She also likes Jason Staham.  That one would worry me a little bit.  He could slap me on national T.V. and all I'd be able to do is apologize for pissing him off.  I don't think she has much to worry about on my end.  All my crushes look like my wife anyway.  Fairuza Balk and Sarah Miller are pretty close.  The one that doesn't is Laura Calder but she lives in Canada so I don't think my wife is worried.  She has said that it would be different for her if these people were accessible to me.  I wouldn't worry if I were my wife, crushes to me are fantasy.  There are boundaries in fantasy though.  Look back at what I said about respecting your partner.  Just remember, beauty should be admired but not worshipped.  Crushes are normal, as long as the line isn't crossed based on your significant others' comfort level.  Till next time, I gotta go.  I have a French Food at Home marathon planned for today.

So Close, No Matter How Far...

I'm a social media whore pretty much.  I get off to the idea that I can stay connected with people I can't normally see on a regular basis and especially those who live long distances from me.  This weekend opened my eyes a bit.  We drove down to the Texas coast which by normal standards is a hell of a road trip.  Only there was I able to meet up with old friends that live merely minutes away from me.  The question was raised on the beach as we caught up and reflected.  "Why do we have to drive 200 miles to hang out when we're normally 5 minutes away from each other?"  The past few weeks a friend of mine and sister in law spearheaded a reunion for all of the people that went to our high school.  The response was less than overwhelming.  Again, why?  Why is it ok to see each other in passing at a funeral or a hospital but we can't sacrifice enough time to get together for a meal or just to show our appreciation for each other?  We are so comfortable being one with each other via a social media site but not face to face.  I have friends on Facebook that I rarely ever spoke to and some people I flat out never met in person.  We are comfortable with divulging intimate details of our lives with strangers on the biggest open outlet known to man but ask them to come over for a drink and all of a sudden things are awkward.  It's time we stepped it up.  I genuinely care about my friends and if I have to organize a reunion every few months to see them, then thats what I'm gonna do.  Hell, if I have to see 800 pictures of your newborn every day, at least let me meet the little guy/girl.  I mean that in a smart ass way of course but I hope you get my point.  Life is short, peeps.  I much rather say goodbye to you with a hug and not while looking in a casket.  Until next time, I love you all, you're beautiful.

Peace, Love, and Confusion

I sit at my laptop a bit of a mess today as I woke up to some disturbing words aimed my way.  I know I'm not the best type of friend to have.  I hate schedules, appointments, and I hate rushing.  I have a gigantic family and several friends so it's impossible for me to spend as much time as I'd like with everyone I want to. My demeanor is simple, I don't like to have any enemies or have anyone with negative thoughts about me.  I do my best to be someone who is enjoyable to be around.  My favorite thing in the world is to make people laugh.  I've said a million times that life is too short to have any kind of negativity in my life.  So why did these words destroy my day before it started?  Because I felt that I'd failed.  I failed as a friend, a person, and I failed someone who I care about and respect.  My intentions are never to hurt anybody.  Maybe I've undermined how enjoyable I can be.  I don't know.  In retrospect it will teach me how to move forward and be everything that I want to be as a person.  A better husband, father, and most of all, friend.  I learn from things that happen to me and don't take things for granted.  I radiate love but at this moment I feel that inside me is a black heart.  They say time heals, in this case I pray it does.  I have so many regrets in life that I can't get back.  The only thing I can do is dust myself off and push forward.  Till next time, I love you all....you're beautiful.

Memories of Memories

This past year I was sick a lot.  My time in and out of the hospitals really put my life in perspective.  I thought of all the amazing people in my life whether they were part of my past or still in it.  The influences of my friends and family have impacted me in so many ways I couldn't imagine leaving this world without letting them know exactly how I feel.  I decided to write each person a little something via Facebook with memories and anything else I wanted.  I found that my memories of them, no matter how vivid and clear to me, were not always remembered by the person I was trying to honor.  Does that make my gesture invalid?  Does this mean that I was or am not anywhere close to being important and influential to them as they are to me?  I started to feel pretty small about it.  My good deeds to myself always seem to bring me down a bit.  I was thinking that maybe I should have just dedicated a song that reminded me of them and let that tell the story I was trying to get across.  Then I realized that whatever came from my heart is what they were supposed to hear.  I realized that it doesn't matter what mark I've made on them, the point is to show what they've done to influence and shape me.  I will continue to write for them cause I have a long way to go.  So many awesome people have crossed my path.  I've created a very long task.  Life is very short, though.  Be sure to let the people you love and care about know exactly how you feel.  I don't go a day without telling my wife and daughter that I love them.  Try not to hold grudges.  Easier said than done, I know.  The most rewarding part of life is love.  Don't forget that.  Till next time, I love you all, you're beautiful.

The Easter Bunny (and other tall tales)

Well, it's that time of year again when pretty much every family has already blown their tax return and are looking for excuses to return joy to their lives.  Look no further, we have Easter!  What should be a huge triumph for the faithful has taken the path of Christmas and has gone commercial.  Instead of celebrating the core of christian faith, the masses have turned the symbol of life to natures' biggest fornicator, the rabbit.  I don't know about you but the rabbit hasn't a damn thing to do with Jesus, his sacrifices, and what he gave to the world and for us believers.  Around my house, rabbits are merely pests that the coyotes feast on.  The little bastards don't ever leave any candy on my doorstep but all of a sudden he magically takes on super powers to be at every mall in america to take the most expensive, pointless pictures known to man.  Before you judge, the easter bunny never took any presidence in my house growing up so maybe I'm biased.  I was never really sure of Santa's fat ass either cause we didn't have a chimney and I never heard a doorbell.  Aside from that, I feel that it is time to stop glorifying fictitious things in celebration of our faith and Lord.  On top of one of the biggest lies people push on their kids is the symbol of the egg on easter.  I'm no scholar but I'm pretty sure rabbits don't shit out eggs to reproduce.  Show me ANY animal that produces chocolate and I will be the best known animal farmer the world has ever known.  Speaking of eggs, I'd like to meet whoever started bashing people over the head with hollow eggs filled with confetti and return every concussion I suffered enduring this traditional practice.  I guess you can't have fun without some kind of punishment.  The last thing I'd like to change is the label of "good" friday.  There ain't a damn thing good about what that day represents unless you have front row seats to the pointless parades that we have to mark the darkest day of Jesus' life.  So, I leave you with that as I go stand in line somewhere to find a basket with fake plastic grass and every diabetics nightmare.  All in celebration of when the world created a chocolate egg shitting rabbit.  Till next time...

The Measurement of Success

This year started pretty rough for me.  Anxiety and depression rear their ugly heads as I try to figure myself out and take a sharp left turn in ways of career.  My pride has gotten in the way of making this change as I don't want to sell myself short.  Then I asked myself, where is the line of selling myself short?  My whole life I have strived to be a good provider and hard worker.  I want to be able to look at myself and deem my life "successful."  I realize at this point that success isn't always based on career and how a person makes a living.  I took a line from Don Corleone in "The Godfather" when he tells a slimy drug pusher that "it makes no difference to me what you do for a living."  I've always felt that way toward anyone who works a steady job.  I treat everybody equally no matter what job they perform.  I joked at one time and asked why it is that people with a big job title that make a lot of money are the only ones that ask what I do for a living.  I live a happy life and am surrounded by a ton of people who love me.  I have a beautiful daughter and wife whom I love with all my heart and who loves me just as much.  If you've seen me lately you know I have plenty of food on the table.  I may not drive the newest or best looking vehicle in the world but I love my truck.  My kids (ol dirty) Baxter and Teagan look up to me no matter what.  They may be dogs but I'll take what I can get.  I'm going to end this with a story that changed my life as I saw it.  Years ago my uncle Eddie and I were driving up the road looking for a place to eat.  It was a friday night.  We stopped at a not so big named steak restaurant that is now defunct.  We ordered our steaks and were served the skinniest most pathetic slab of meat we'd ever seen.  As we complained about our pathetic meal I looked over to another table and saw a man and woman who had just finished their meals.  The woman's arms were wrapped around the man and she kissed his check over and over in between her words that made him smile from ear to ear.  Their kids ran around and laughed loudly.  The man had a look on his face of pure happiness I'll never forget.  Point is, what we deemed as a poor experience and pathetic food was probably the pinnacle of this family's week.  I envied the man for throwing his hard earned money toward his family and not at a bartender.  I felt that for the first time I had seen success and that was what I wanted to achieve.  As I continue my journey, I'm sure I'll look back at this point in my life and realize that I am not judged by what I have but who I am.  Gotta go, headed to the county dump.  I look forward to going every week to yap with my buddy that runs it.

Man, I'm Getting Old!!!

It's fitting that I start this blog with the words "back in the day," cause I find myself referencing to them quite often lately.  Every time I do, I get a quick mental picture of my dad telling me some story that I no doubt rolled my eyes over as a kid.  Flash forward to 2013 and my daughter's eyes roll more than a set of dice on the Las Vegas strip.  One of the things I do the most is reference how the whipper snappers of this generation have no clue what it was like to grow up like we did.  I mean, do kids even play outside anymore?  I got behind a school bus the other morning that stopped at every kid on the bus' house!  I clearly remember walking a half mile to one designated stop that the whole neighborhood met at.  If we didn't walk, we had our identity on wheels…the bike.  Each of our bike's showed your personality, tastes, and in a nutshell, your social status.  I was a huffy guy wheareas the "rich" kids drove mongoose and otherwise.  If we were lucky, at the end of the night we could have an hour or so playing Atari.  I think i still hold the record for  Defender but don't quote me on that.  Another huge problem I have is that I can't get into much new music.  I find myself going backwards in my music catalog.  The classics are as fresh to me as the mundane crap that's popular these days.  Even in TV I find myself gravitating towards Antiques Roadshow instead of the popular new shows.  My body is by far the best indicator of losing my spring chicken status.  Hangovers used to last hours and now last days.  I have hair growing out of places that just aren't natural.  I have a grey hair that is in my right ear that requires monthly maintenance.  My eyebrows look like Bert from sesame street and I can damn near put a weave or braid my nipple hair.  I took my 12 year old to meet her teachers and was told that I was embarrasing her.  That was when it hit me.  Never in my life did I think I would become that.  I had come to the realization that even though my youth was behind me, I have a new chapter of my life to enjoy and embrace.  These are the best days of my life.  All the lessons learned in my youth can now be applied so that I don't make the same mistakes I made when I was younger.  I've learned who my true friends are.  I learned who I am.  This life is no longer about just me.  It's about establishing a FUTURE with the ones I love.  To that, I say bring it on.  If my hair turns grey or falls out, it'll be with no resistance from me.  If my hip breaks, at least I know I can count on my loved ones to get around.  Seeing a concert from the seats instead of the mosh pit does have it's advantages.  To the memories i've made and the ones that will come, I say till next time peeps.  I think theres a Matlock marathon on today.

The Hypocrisy of God Vs. Government

Everyone I know has some concept of a higher power or the idea of consequences or rewards of the afterlife.  Some of the biggest holy rollers I know are the biggest hypocrites when it comes to following the word of God according to the bible.  Most have sinned till it became habit, found a church to go to, and are quick to judge the ones that follow in their old past.  Although the word of the bible is the guideline of life the constitution has a bigger impact on how people act in everyday life.  I asked, why is that?  My only conclusion is thinking that it's a fact of life because if you break a law the results can be immediate and will affect your life accordingly whereas if one sins, the results aren't felt right away.  So who really has more control of your life?  What I mean is, why do more people choose to live by the law but not by their higher belief?  My thought is because when it comes to laws, they can be changed according to what better suits a sinner.  Amendments were created to change with the times.  When it doesn't suit a majority of people or how THEY sin, laws are not amended to suit them.  When these closet sinners don't get their way, they are the quickest to site...you guessed it, the bible.  I say we wipe the board clean and if the bible is gonna affect laws, they should across the board and not just what suits the rich and powerful lawmakers.  In our government, money is power.  Always has been, always will be.  That's why the grossly overpaid are able to avoid due consequences when they break laws and your uncle spends half his life in jail for stealing a lollipop from the convenience store.  From what I understand all men were created equal but basic human rights in our "free" country are being violated daily.  Without getting specific, all men and women are created equal and are guaranteed basic freedoms unless it comes to lifestyle decisions that our powerful politicians don't agree with.  Even though most of these politicians are the downright scum of this country that sin for a living, they choose what we can and can't have.  The same politicians that cheat on their wives and lie daily for personal gain are the ones that say homosexuals can't have the same rights of marriage that the rest of us do.  I call bullshit.  Aside from politicians I see the hypocrisy all around me.  I hear a lot of the faithful bitch and moan about how a lady with 10 kids collecting food stamps and housing benefits don't deserve taxpayer money but stand firm about being pro-life.  It's a child of God when it's unborn but not my responsibility when it comes to my taxes.  The same people that say the bible defined the law of marriage are the same ones that are in marriage counseling or constantly fighting and coveting other people.  I guess it's gonna take a gay president to make the changes for equality and the Castro brothers are moving up fast.  This isn't intended to challenge the word of God, it's my way of trying to get hard headed people to think before they judge.  Put your bible away and let your common sense guide you just a little bit.  Remember, you can't control the destiny of others.  Mind your own beeswax and do what suits you.  The country is in a bad state right now, looks like we could use some open minded changes cause your traditional views don't seem to be working.  I'm out, my gay illegal alien cousin is having an abortion with her welfare check.

The Irony of "Social" Media

Remember the good 'ol days when you had to call people on the phone to communicate with them.  When you would have to hop in the car to go have face to face discussions with your loved ones?  These days it's all about social media outlets to stay connected.  Myspace paved the way for the heavyweights Facebook and Twitter.  There are 100 other examples but these are the two I'm familiar with.  I primarily use Facebook so I'm gonna focus on that.  Just as in life, friends come and go on Facebook.  Almost like childhood, the number of friends you have depends on how popular or nosey you are.  My question is, have these methods of staying connected actually de-connected us?  There are people that are on my friends list that I see out and about who won't say a word to me in person but pour their hearts out for anybody to see online.  In the social web, people gather in mini social groups.  You have the gym goers who have to check in to show the world that they take care of themselves every day.  Most of these people check in 50% of the time at the gym and 50% at the bar, go figure.  The self-portrait peeps who take 1000 pictures of themselves in the same pose in the bathroom and post every single one in hopes of compliments.  I'd like to see pictures of these people putting some windex on their bathroom mirror.  The self loathers who fish for compliments and try to sell the whoa is me sad story every day.  The inspirational quote over posters who feel that they need to show the world that they aren't as fucked up as they really are.  The living through their kids peeps who never post shit about themselves.  I hope that if there is a reunion of some sort that you bring the kid cause I don't know who the hell you are but I could talk to them about their sports careers, swim lessons, haircut, time with paw paw and mee maw, etc...  The stealth moder's, who never post shit or like anything but read everybody's stuff daily.  Then when they do post something twice a year you automatically like it in hopes that they'll post something again.  The E-carders who don't have an original thought in their head so they copy and paste these cards with the old time people on them.  Why can't we cut out the middle man and just connect me with the people that put them together.  The bored housewife who stays connected all day and night while somehow taking care of the household.  I could go on and on but you get the point.  Which one am I?  Im the guy who tries to put a smile on your face and make you laugh whether you are online or right in front of me.  The guy who is sure to give you a smile and a hug or handshake when I see you.  The guy who appreciates everyone that I have the ability to stay connected with.  The guy who treats everyone the way they deserve to be treated regardless of your circumstances.  The guy who would much rather hear your voice than have you like my status.  Sometimes we get lost in seeing people as their avatar online.  I encourage you to reach out in ways that matter.  Life is too short to lose personal relationships for convenient ones.  Until next time, I have to put this on facebook so my friends can continue to know me.  

The Darkest Day Of My Life 8 Years Later

8 Years ago around this time of year my head was in the wrong place and my emotions were completely amplified.  I had gone through a deep depression for several years prior that had made me into an unstable time bomb that destroyed relationships on every level with my closest family and friends.  To put it bluntly, I was as fucked as a football bat.  I started taking Xanax to take the edge off. I did this behind my doctors back like a total dumbass.  I was desperate to feel normal again.  I went to my doctor and they decided that I should be put on anti-depressants.  There was a brand new kind out called Cymbalta that they thought would do the trick.  I didn't sleep for days at a time so they also gave me Ambien to help with that.  I pretty much became The Walking Dead way before the series became popular.  Im waiting for my kickback check as we speak.  What the doctors didn't tell me was that the medication had several side effects that would eventually fuck my world.  These days there are commercials that clearly outline what to look for when taking these meds.  Back then there was no such thing.  I was drinking heavily and doing other extra-curricular activities that made everything in my body as toxic as a McRib sandwich from McDonalds.  I started feeling like I didn't want to be here anymore.  I was going to church as much as I was at the bar and that didn't seem to help either.  I reached out to a few of my family members and told them of my intentions to check out.  They all assured me that things would be better and that I'd be alright.  Dr. Phil didn't have shit on them! I was at the end of my rope.  One night after a binge I decided that I'd had enough and swallowed a handful of Xanax.  I remember crying as I took a second handful.  Apparently I called my mom and my uncle to tell them bye.  The next thing I remember was waking up in intensive care at the hospital 2 days later.  They later told me that they found Ambien, Xanax (obviously), amphetimines, and Cymbalta in my system.  My blood alcohol level was two and a half times the legal limit.  I had more shit in me than Keith Richards on his birthday.  I spent the next week in the hospital till the chefs in the kitchen started complaining about how much food I was eating.  I assumed that's why they told me to beat it.  I agreed to go to a facility for rehab called Laurel Ridge.  Spent a week in there roomed up with a heroin addict. Lovely.  When I got out, I thanked God for the second chance at life and pressed on.  The point of this blog is to remind people that life is precious,  it's to remind people that although you may not see it on the outside, people may be hurting on the inside.  Cries for help should not be ignored.  Antidepressant medication should be closely monitored, and hospital food has a bad reputation.  Tell your loved ones everyday how you feel about them.  It's cliche as hell but life IS too short to hold grudges and enemies. Live each day to the fullest and no matter how bad you think you have it...it's really not that bad.  I love you all, you're beautiful.  Till next time, now i'm off to see if Northeast Methodist has a drive through or delivery.

The Battle of the Alamo, What REALLY Went Down

Last week was Texas independence week and a whole lot of the focus was based around the Alamo in my home city of San Antonio.  I guess if getting your ass kicked by a bunch of mexicans is independence, there are a lot of white boxers out there that are free as a mofo.  So, I didn't really pay attention in history class but I do remember bits and pieces of certain events.  This particular story is what I remember between naps and daydreaming.  You see, the Alamo is a big place and there were always a bunch of men hanging around in it.  The place ain't gonna clean itself.  So the landlord hired a couple of cleaning ladies.  These ladies were of mexican decent.  I'll just call them "Lupita", and "Hortencia" since i'm stereotypical that way and none of my friends are named that so no one will get pissed at me.  L and H were cleaning the mens room at the Mo when Davy Crockett rolls in drunk off his ass and pees all over the floor.  He looked at L and H and laughed before telling them to go make some tacos.  This don't sit well with two 35 year old ladies who have 27 kids between them so they made some calls.  Their kids got pissed at the disrespect so they called all of their unemployed cousins to go handle some business.  The next day, 2200 people showed up and they loaded up two station wagons and hauled ass to San Antonio.  One of the cousin's sister had a quincenera the year before so they all had  matching outfits.  When they showed up to the Alamo, the Texans freaked out.  There was no construction scheduled that day so they knew they were in trouble.  They locked all the doors and ran to get their guns.  There was a big battle for a couple of days but then the Mexicans had enough.  They stormed the place and since the girls back home had another 40 kids that week they decided they could take some losses.  The battle was bloody and when it was all said and done, the mexicans had won.  They stayed at the Alamo a few more weeks till the rent was due before they headed up the road to San Jacinto.  I'm not quite sure what happened after that but by the looks of it nowadays there must have been a job fair there for concrete workers and trash men.  So the next time you go down to the alamo, remember the true history and heritage...of when Ozzy peed on it just like davy Crockett did to start the whole mess.    

Dr. Seuss: Book writer for children, or closet sex addict?

We've all heard the stories of playing music backwards and the hidden meanings you'll find, but there are obvious examples of undertones that smack you right in the face where you wouldn't expect them.  At my latest trip to the local bookstore I had a revelation of epic proportions.  Dr. Suess, who has written several books aimed at children, might have actually had an ulterior motive.  Maybe it was the alcohol flowing through my brain or a sign that my subconscious made me take notice of but the evidence is clear as day.  "Hop on Pop" has all the makings of a modern day incest story written all over it.  "Green Eggs and Ham" is the docs way of explaining his own anatomy which he tends to do in later titles.  The green eggs serving as the testicles and the ham obviously representing the dong.  No sir, I would NOT like them in a box with a fox!!!  "One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish" is mr. children's book man's experience with hygiene challenged women.  That book was clearly written for his support of Summers Eve.  "Yertle the Turtle" was his way of explaining to the world that he felt challenged cause he was uncircumcised.  "The Foot Book" is way too easy. The man had a foot fetish that would put Rex Ryan to shame.  "Fox in Socks" explains the time he kicked a hooker out of his pad after sex with nothing on but her feet warmers.  "The Butter Battle Book" was originally titled Butter Batter but he had to change it cause of the uptight librarian movement of the 80's.  "Horton Hatches the Egg" tells about the time he got a woman pregnant and had to pay child support.  "Theres a Wocket in my Pocket" is his way of telling us that he and John Holmes had a lot in common.  "I Can Lick 30 Tigers Today" is clearly about his ability to perform cunnilingus.  Of course the biggest title he had was the biggest clue.  "The Cat in the Hat"  was undoubtedly his proclamation to the world that he loved the woman's nether region.  It's all there, people!!!  The poor man was reaching out to us for years and nobody saw the signs.  There was a rumor floating around that his typewriter went up for auction but all the buttons were stuck together.  Doesn't sound odd to me at all anymore.  I salute you, Mr. Suess P.H.D., you have given me a new outlook on life one rhyme at a time.    

All Guns and No Roses

Seems like every time I turn around there is a strong topic that divides this great country.  This month is all about guns and gun control.  If you are an american with a heart, it undoubtedly broke when news of a shooter that took the lives of several young kids and teachers at an elementary school hit.  There is no excuse whatsoever for the events that took place.  The biggest issue that came out of this was that the loon used guns to execute said victims.  We've all heard the saying that guns don't kill people, people kill people and I somewhat agree.  If you put the wrong person behind the wheel of a car he or she can do as much damage as a person with a gun.  Do we need to outlaw cars?  Should we put a breathalyzer in every car as a means to deter a drunk driver from going out and killing an innocent family?  I mentioned that this country only acts on violence after the fact and hardly ever in a preventative manner.  What is it going to take to make people realize that no matter what, the wrong person in the wrong situation is going to make wrong decisions.  I was disagreed with when I stated that this idiot could have done as much damage had he run a car through the school than if he had opened fire with a gun.   Why is that so far fetched?  Did everyone see the threat of people hijacking planes on 911 to fly them into buildings?  My point is, violence is in our nature.  We are a self destructive civilization that loves to point fingers in every direction instead of where they should point.  At ourselves.  Mental illness has been around since we were created.  Why now is it ok to overanalyze the brain of a violent person?  I was appalled when the media tried to blame asbergers as the reason for what took place.  Once again pointing fingers in the wrong direction.  If I had to take a side on gun control I would be somewhere in the middle.  I think that people have the right to have guns but I don't see any reason whatsoever to own an assault rifle.  Your not going to need an AK-47 to hunt or protect whats yours.  The sole purpose of those types of weapons is mass destruction.  Destruction of our nation is all we are getting from them.  It's easier to obtain one of these weapons than it should be.  A major change is coming, way overdue.  Once again the government is acting retroactively to something that could have been prevented.  For once, the government is gonna get it right.  My heart goes out to all that have suffered as a result of gun violence.  For those that put their 2nd amendment rights above common sense,  I pray that you don't have to go through what these victims have.  It would sure be a pain in the ass to cover your NRA bumper sticker with an anti-gun violence one.

The Retail Agenda to Un-CHRIST Christmas

It's that time of year again.  The period of redeeming your soul after filling it as a glutton during Thanksgiving.  For some, it's the time of year to celebrate the birth of Jesus.  For most, it's time to go into debt to buy the love of the people around you.  For retail stores, it's time to exploit your faith in Christ to suck every last dime out of you.  Some argue that the stores are doing us a favor by discounting products at that period so that we can indulge on things we want that we can't normally afford.  Truth is, these same stores screw you the other 11 months of the year to give you the perception that your saving during december.  Do you think that in this day and age stores are gonna cut back on profit to do you a favor in the name of your lord?  Each year it gets worse.  Easter is not far behind.  We throw a scapegoat on both holidays to take the fall in both holidays.  A freaking rabbit and a fat bastard in a cheeky suit take the fall to get the kids excited about the event.  Nobody want's to have to explain to their kids why we actually celebrate easter.  Who invented these damn things?  Christians?  What's next?  The clearance sale to celebrate Jesus graduating to the first grade?  The same people who preach that "Jesus is the reason for the season" are the same ones who pluck a poor tree who was minding his own business out of the ground, dress it like a psychedelic drag queen, and put presents under it.  Some people say that they are able to celebrate this because of their faith in the reason.  They go to church dressed in their sunday best, which nowadays has evolved into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, sing a few songs, eat a bread wafer, drink a little wine, go home and still act like the same assholes they are aside from the hour they spent in church.  The message is lost.  Jesus didn't want you to celebrate his big day by buying Jr. a train set or little Suzie a Barbie with the Malibu dream home.  He wanted you to honor what he stood for and what he brought into this world.  We need to stop referring to the day after Thanksgiving as Black Friday.  Black friday should be reserved for the day Jesus was crucified.  The day after Thanksgiving and as of late, Thanksgiving night should be re-named corporate greed day.  However you celebrate this time of year, keep in mind why you do it.  The world will be a better place when we put our Lord in control and take control out of the hands of our currency.  In the meantime chill out and drink a big ass cup of egg nog for me.  We all know that's what the 3 wise men got wasted on when they made the trek back home.