Saturday, June 23, 2012

From Mad Men to Magic Mike

As a nation of horny lonely women anticipate the release of the movie Magic Mike, it occurred to me that the tides have turned on the men of this world when it comes to chauvinism.  No longer are the days of the crusty construction worker screaming cat calls at women crossing the job site with us.  These days are the days of the cougar!  The only thing missing is the equivalent of the members only jacket for the girls.  Back in the day, if an older man wanted to court a younger women he was considered a pathetic old pervert.  In the 2000's, hordes of older ladies turned the tides and started robbing the cradle as a sense of entitlement.  Samantha from Sex and the City became a role model for those who grew tired of Viagra popping men.  Midlife crisis cars were no match for a younger man with more stamina where it counted.  I've learned another thing or two recently about the evolution taking place.  Women have no shame anymore when it comes to sexuality.  Sex toy parties are more popular than ever.  Back massagers are going out of business because the stigma is all but gone.  Let's face it, hundreds of millions of people didn't end up on this earth from two people watching television together.  Why hide what makes the world go round?  Based on the reaction to a few male stars baring some skin on the big screen, women are done hiding it.  One of the biggest differences is how women react to seeing men bare all as opposed to how men handle themselves when put in a similar situation.  Women act as wild and crazy as they can when they are put in this type of environment.  They scream, yell, let loose, and ultimately let out their inner whore.  Men act nonchalant about a half naked women on a pole in a thong.  The code is just different.  Maybe we've just gotten soft.  Until next time, I gotta go.  My mani and pedi await. 

Sunday, June 17, 2012

The Man That I've Become

As I get older, I'm noticing some weird changes in myself.  I'm having to treat abnormal hair growth in my ears, nose, back, eyebrows, and only god knows where else.  My stubborness has reached new levels, my love for oldies music is out of control, and my belly has reached a growth that only pregnant women experience.  After careful consideration I sat with my arms crossed with a puzzled look on my face when it hit me so hard I felt like one of Chris Brown's girlfriends.  I am turning into my dad!!!  This, of course is not a bad thing.  It made me take a good look in the mirror and ask when all this happened.  I don't remember giving a lesson with every speech I give.  Have I really been talking about the good ol' days when I was a kid?  I felt like maybe I should carry some of the other good qualities that my pop has.  He's always put our family and everyone in it first.  He's always had a gentle heart, even though he looks like he could strangle a bear.  (I'm sure it's crossed his mind to strangle me at times!)  He's always had a very strong work ethic, something I've always tried to model.  Overall, he is the example of the all american dad, and maybe a Harley is in my future!  I have incredible memories of going to baseball games with him and everytime I have had an event that I have participated in, he's been there.  Cheers, Pop.  I'm looking forward to some of the other changes I may encounter during this transformation...except your Build-A-Bear obsession.  

Friday, June 1, 2012

The Domesticated Man

I took a vacation day today.  Most men my age would have done so to go fishing, or hit up a ballgame.  I did it so I could catch up on housework, laundry, and to go do our grocery shopping.  It may seem strange or odd to some but I asked around and it seems that more and more men are picking up the slack at the homefront these days.  I also noticed that the women who's men helped to some degree were happier about that aspect of their relationship.  As I've said before, the womans role in the house has changed dramatically over the years.  They are more independent, educated, and most make more money than their spouses.  That is definitely the case in my household.  I feel that in order to earn my keep so to speak, I can do things around the house to take the pressure off of my fiance when she gets home from a long day or week at the office.  Of course the role of the nagging housewife has been put in my hands as well.  I seem to be the one hollering all the time about her not picking up her clothes or not rinsing a dish.  I'm sure at this point that I nag worse than my mom ever did.  Point is, I'm here to do what it takes to make my relationship as stress free as i can. If that means I have to put on my Aunt Jemima outfit and clean the bathtub, I say pass me the rubber gloves and pine sol and watch my fat ass go.  Peace with chicken grease, peeps.  I got a list of stuff I gotta get done.