Fashion – an Outside Perspective

Fashion is something that I've never understood.  I always had a hard time keeping up with the latest trends and more than likely couldn't afford them anyway.  My mom spent countless hours trying to get me to mix up my threads to fit in with what "they" were wearing.  I never understood who "they" were so I never gave a second thought to throwing on a pair of faded denim jeans, a T-shirt with a band logo on it, and a pair of tennis shoes. Black has always been my preference of color or lack thereof.  If I don't look like I’m attending a funeral or a heavy metal concert, I have a hard time leaving the house.  Throughout the years, I’ve seen the trends and styles change so often that I couldn’t keep up.  My style never changed but somehow always stayed relevant.  This is a look back at the fashions I wished I had, missed, and overall am glad I didn’t subscribe to.  I remember when Swatch watches were the thing to have. They were so expensive but very desirable to my age group.  I couldn’t wait till my birthday or Christmas to get one so I could strut the halls of my school and show the world that I belonged.  I had plans to put the little rubber protector on the outside of it like the elite popular kids did to distinguish themselves.  When Christmas came and I got a Mickey Mouse watch, it started a long list of fashions I wouldn’t be a part of.  About the time that all girls wore poufs in their hair, the mullet was the hairstyle of choice for guys.  I had to do it!  The length of the mullet was equal to how high a girl could get the poof to stand up.  A girl with enough hairspray could scrape the texture off of a ceiling with her pouf.  All a guy had to do was grow the length of the back of their hair while keeping the rest looking like a military cut.  Mine failed miserably.  I looked like I had an afro made of Brillo pad mixed with a bird's nest in the back.  There was no way I could shave lines into that bush when that became popular!   I tried the turtleneck when it was stylish.  Since I have no neck I ended up looking like an uncircumcised penis.  I couldn’t afford Hypercolors when it boomed.  I would see everyone touching these ridiculous shirts that changed colors by the heat of your hand, roll my eyes, and secretly be envious that it wasn’t me being touched.  Instead of Bugle Boy, Pepe, Z. Cavaricci, or Girbaud jeans I had Levi's.  Guess jeans came and went but by the time I could afford them, they were out of style.  I missed out on the Mossimo, Stussy, and Yaga cursive logo on the T-shirt trend. I watched the surf shop fashion line pass me by.  I didn’t even know what Bo-Jons, Ron-Jon, or whatever else-Jon was so I had no desire to show off that brand.  I wore Reebok pumps and thought my time had come.  Those lasted a little longer than a Viagra pill's effectiveness. Doc Martins came and went with the grunge movement and I have to say, looking back, they were pretty damn ugly.   My high school tried to throw a curve ball at me once and changed the dress code.  As our entire class was addressed about the changes it was stated that shirts would not be allowed to have band logos on them anymore.  One of my classmates said "Well, there goes Chris Gonzales' wardrobe" and received a huge applause.  It made me feel about two inches tall.  What the classmate did not realize was that I had slaved all summer working for my aunt’s landlord earning the money I would need to purchase my band T-shirts, cheap jeans, and tennis shoes.  My mom, a single parent, worked hard to make ends meet for my sister and me so I did my best to help out where I could.  It was a lesson in humility, but looking back, I wanted all those brands and trends so I would fit in. I'm glad I missed these silly expressions of style.  You see, my style or lack thereof remained relevant throughout my life.  I can't say that about what the popular kids were wearing.  These days, you won’t find me in an American Eagle, Hollister, or Aeropostale store for the same reason.  I have decided to follow the "hipster" movement at my age and only time will tell how that works out for me.   So, the next time you think about judging a person by what they wear or don’t wear, just remember you may wear the "in" thing at the moment, but more than likely we will look back and realize that most of it was/is pretty damn ridiculous.