Strange things are afoot at the Liberty Tax Service

Its February already and that means two things.  One, everyone has realized that their New Year’s resolutions were a pipedream.  Two, it’s time to see the people on every corner of America dressed as the Statue of Liberty doing their best dance fever Deney Terrio impersonation.  To me, what you do for a living doesn’t matter.  Whether you’re a hot shot attorney or the guy who puts the piece of bacon in the can of pork and beans, it doesn’t make a difference.  My issue is, these men and women are doing the right thing by looking for work so why not let them save their dignity?  When I saw the very uncomfortable kid in front of the Rockville, MD branch of said tax service I swear I looked around the corner and was positive I would see his momma keeping watch to make sure he followed through with his punishment.  I’d love to sit through an interview for this position.  I imagine it would start with the boss asking if you’re willing to humiliate yourself on a local level, which I do regularly at the bar.  The next part would be asking if you’re willing to dress in drag.  You would think every male candidate would start getting a little uncomfortable at that point.  Next, can you dance?  I wonder how many candidates wondered if they were going to advertise for a tax store or if they were gonna pole dance at a tranny bar?  What does the ad in the paper look like?  Seeking highly motivated individuals with no regard for themselves who won’t get embarrassed when your gangster friends roll by and see you making an ass of yourself in a dress.  Oddly enough, every family has someone in it that is a perfect candidate for this job.  I propose that we get the court system involved.  Instead of giving a criminal probation, put their ass in the statue of liberty outfit and have them dance on the corner of the neighborhood that they live in.  I guarantee crime would drop.  I hear that these workers make a great amount of money doing this and all kidding aside I’d rather see Americans holding these jobs rather than resorting to other legal and non legal methods to make their living.  It takes a lot of balls to do what they do so when you see them doing the mashed potato or moon-walking across the pavement, do what I do and take the time to salute Lady Liberty.